Yesterday was my 34th birthday.
Last night, after we ate our yummy steak dinner, I was sitting at the dining room table…. all the boys were clearing the table and doing the dishes in the kitchen (I was told to stay in my chair).
I was reminiscing about the last few hours….. surprised by a bouquet of daisies, spontaneous little kisses and hugs, the new Wii Super Mario Bros. game, phone calls from family members and little nieces and nephews singing to me over the phone, grilling our dinner together on the back porch…what a great year it’s been…. I decided that I must be the luckiest girl alive. I love my life. I love my little family. This is the good stuff.
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And then there was a blast of laughter from the kitchen… Jake appears in the doorway…he’s face is red, his eyes are watering..and he’s doing the “I’m NOT gonna laugh at my child’s question” face….. he says, “Wildcat….go ask your mom that question..”
Oh Lord…
Here it comes…
Wildcat cautiously walks into the dining room…looks at me like he might be in trouble… turns his eyes toward to floor while he twiddles his fingers into a knot…
Wildcat: Ummm…. Why do you have Tampax? I thought you LOVED Dad.
Me: ** blink, blink ** uh….
Me: ** awkward pause **
Me: ** holding in laughter **
Wow.
Me: What does that mean?
Wildcat: Weelllll… I heard that Tampax means you’re angry at the person you love.
Me: ** speechless**
At this point, I’m not really sure where I’m supposed to go with this conversation.
I told Wildcat to hang on a sec… I walked into the kitchen.
Jake and Dragon are LITERALLY doubled over on the floor laughing so hard they are almost crying.
WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY NOW? IS ANYONE REALLY READY FOR THIS PART OF PARENTING? I THOUGHT YOU PLANNED THIS TYPE OF CONVERSATION… WAS THIS PART OF THE DEAL??….
I decided to go for it.
I walk back into the dining room with a piece of paper and roughly sketch the female reproductive system… yep…. I went there.
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Wildcat knows a little about these things. When Jake had his surgery last year, we explained a little bit of it to him.
Consisting mostly of “To have a baby… the daddy has a piece and the mommy has a piece….and when those two pieces get together….you get a baby….and Dad’s surgery was so that he could help make a baby” — no major details.
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SOOO– While my brain was saying “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!” — I tried to use what I knew that he knew…and educate him a little more.
On my birthday.
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After dinner.
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While my “support team” was hiding in the kitchen trying to unfold from the laughing cramps in their sides.
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I drew a body shape…and a uterus.. and some ovaries.
I asked him if he remembered about the little bitty mom-part and the little bitty dad-part that make a baby. He did.
I showed him where the EGG was made… how it traveled down when it was ready to look for the boy-part…. where it stays for awhile waiting for the boy-part… why the uterus is full of tissue and such (to start taking care of a growing baby)… AND THEN… when the little bitty boy-part doesn’t show up, the egg leaves… with all the other stuff too.
And that’s why I have Tampax.
He was satisfied with that explanation. He was a little concerned that there was blood involved… but Dad chimed in and explained that it was normal…and not like an injury. That made it a little better.
After we put the kids to bed, we were trying to figure out WHERE THE HELL he would pickup the idea that “Tampax means you don’t love someone anymore” –
The only thing we could come up with was that SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE has answered a question or described something to do with….
P. M. S.
And Wildcat turned that into what he could understand… he stored it away. When he saw the Tampax box that came home with the groceries, it caused him great alarm.
Sweet boy.
